My husband has always half-jokingly called me a lemon. I am one, poor him. We were married and then I began to fall apart just like a car you think looks good but under the hood there are lots of hidden problems. He says this lovingly, of course, but if we are being honest there is a lot of truth to it. One thing after another breaks on me and that is why I am here writing. I hope this blog will help others who may be lemons just like me.
You know now that I think about it though we shouldn’t feel too sorry for him, he knew what he was getting into. After all we did celebrate our four-month dating anniversary in a hospital room. He knew. From the beginning I had endrometriosis and stomach issues (which turned out to be my tonsils, that’s how crazy my body is). I had a hysterectomy when I was twenty-six. That was my fist big surgery. And it helped tremendously! But you know Garth Brook’s song “Much Too Young (To Feel This Damn Old)”? Yep, that’s me.
We married when I was 20 and he was 22. We were still in college, young, dumb, and in love! Alright so I could get all mushy on you and tell you how much I love him, how we’ve been through so much together, and how I can’t imagine my life without him but I won’t. 🙂 Fast forward fourteen years…… We now have 2 beautiful girls whom I homeschool. My husband has joined the Air Force so we move a lot and he leaves frequently. Boo: deployments and TDYs. Yeah: cool new places to live and good insurance (remember the lemon factor?).
Ok, back to the lemonness (oh yeah, it’s a word) of me. For the past two years I have suffered from severe TMD, temporomandibular joint dysfunction. My TMD makes it very hard to eat and speak most days. But, hey, it’s one heck of a diet! Many people have this to some degree and mine used to not be that bad until I fell down the stairs 2 years ago. Now it’s out of whack and we can’t seem to get it back in place. We’ve been to 2 dentists, 2 orthodontists, and an orthodontist surgeon in the past 2 years. Every visit hurts my face and my spirit. Sometimes it’s so hard to make myself keep searching for someone or something that can help.
Now the kicker! Last spring I was diagnosed with bilateral TN, trigeminal neuralgia. What the heck is that? That’s what I said, too. I actually found it on line before I was diagnosed. Looking for something else I came across the symptoms and thought, That’s me! I was finally diagnosed by the 20th doctor I saw during this whole ordeal. How crazy is that?! And he said I was a textbook case. Kind of scary. He was a neurosurgeon. His textbook probably was just a little thicker or something. I had a MVD, microvascular decompression, surgery on the left side in May and am still recovering in October. Stink! But I am soooo much better than I was before the surgery. Good thing, huh?
I still live with pain everyday. Some days are ok, some are bearable, and some are just horrible. I’m writing this blog for others in chronic pain. Lets walk together through this. I think those horrible days are a little better when you know you’re not alone.