Faith to Move Mountains But Not My Pain


I am a Christian with a chronic illness. Does this mean I am lacking in faith? Do I not believe enough for Jesus to heal me? NO!!! 

I know 3 things:

1. God can heal me. Jesus healed numerous people while He was here on Earth. He healed a woman after He felt her touch the hem of His garment. (Matthew 9:20) I don’t know how many times I have prayed to Jesus–I have FAITH!!! Please heal me! I, too, am reaching out to Him. I know He can take this pain away from me. He spoke our whole universe into being, I think He can speak away this pain in my body. He can use miracles, surgeries, medicines, etc. It’s all Him!  And I really don’t care which one He uses as long as it’s gone. 😉

2. He may choose not to take away the pain. He has a reason why I am sick. I can’t see it. (Oh, I wish I could. Wouldn’t that make it easier?) This pain may last for minutes, up to decades, or all the way to my last breath. This is a hard fact for me to write but I know it’s true. Even though I can’t see it, I know there is a reason for my pain…and it’s not my lack of faith! 

Many people came to see Jesus: some to be healed, some for the teaching, and others just to see what all the fuss was about. Many who came to Jesus to be healed were not. Did He love them less? No! Was their faith not as strong? No! Their faith brought them to the same place as those who were healed. It was just not their time.

3. God loves me even if He never takes away the pain. I know this. I believe it takes faith to know that God loves me and has a plan for me through the pain. This chronic illness is obviously a part of the big picture that I can’t see. I can’t see the “whys” or the “hows” but I still trust Him.

I am the one fighting in this war of pain, but my family should receive honorary purple hearts. They are with me in every battle having to make just as many adjustments as I do. Actually my husband is at the store for me right now after a long day of work because I can’t drive after my surgery yet . He’s so good to me ! 🙂 I also have friends that have really shown their hearts through this last surgery. They have been driving our kiddos to all of their classes, and have them over to their house just to give me a break. And, of course, the delicious meals! I I can’t leave the yumminess out.

I say this about my family and friends just to point out all of the people witnessing my war on pain. My friends’ children are there in the backseat with my girls going to class. Will they remember these moments as adults and possibly have more compassion because of them. And I have spoken often about the compassion and empathy our girls now have. What will they do with that later in life?

It’s not about me. Of course, I pray constantly that God takes this cup from me, but He may not. Right now I am dealing with that. Trying to wrap my mind around the fact that this may be a lifetime battle. If it is, I know there is a reason. I have faith- faith not broken by pain. Shaken. But not broken.

So please don’t be discouraged when others hint at your lack of faith being the reason you are not healed. Only God knows the heart of a man.


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