They are ALWAYS watching and learning


Have you ever stopped to think what all our kiddos are learning from us everyday? SCARY!!! It’s big and small things, and things so tiny neither of you are even aware you are doing it. Our oldest daughter has a habit of standing up and stretching to the sky at the same time. This habit forces her to kneel down or at the very least grab her knees before she passes out and hits the floor. I do the same thing. You would think we would wise up and stop but we don’t. Some habits are endearing and others are so frustrating. Don’t you love the ones that make you so angry but you can’t say much because you know you just did the same thing five minutes ago? Those are my favorite.

I say all of this to be a little birdie in your ear. They watch how we handle this thing called life. All kids do. Ours just have the up-close and personal seats for the Trials and Tribulations uncut edition. They see it all don’t they. As smart as we think we are, they know. They can read body language, tone of voice, how we are moving (or not), as well as, numerous other communications. I know when I am hurting really, really badly I have a “soft walk” because just the jarring of putting my foot down hurts my head.  Normally I don’t think I stomp down that hard, maybe that’s something I should pay attention to. Do I walk around like Fred Flintstone? “Wilma, I’m hoooome!”

Isn’t hard enough to be a parent when you feel good? I think so. Oh my goodness!!! Being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done by far! Let me add to that…. trying to be a good parent.


And what do we do on the days when just breathing is kicking our bottoms? What are we supposed to do when the pain is winning this day? Be honest in the moment. What did you say? Be honest with our kids? Yes. Now maybe telling your twelve year old you want to shoot her in the face with a bazooka for using that tone with you might not be a good idea. (Remember that they sometimes learn from us? OUCH! I use that tone, too.)

Let them know we have weaknesses? Yes. You are not Superwoman no matter how good you look in red tights. I recommend having a family meeting during a good part of your day (not after they’ve done something wrong or you’ve just flown off the handle gotten upset). Let them know what is going on. Talk about it. Kids are sooo much wiser than we give them credit.  Let them know you just can’t do everything you could before. That continues to be a hard one for me. Not because my family expects it but because I do. I get down on myself or think about this mysterious time in the future when I will be well again. You know, maybe this is it. Good days and bad. I had good and bad days before. They were just good and bad for different reasons.

Our kids are learning from us. They are learning how to handle life. While I pray they do not have chronic pain issues, they will have issues. What they see us doing now they will carry with them. This can be a blessing or a burden for them. What is the legacy you are sending off into the future?


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